If tears could build a stairwell and memories were a lane, 

 

I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again. 

 

No farewell words were spoken no time to say good-bye .

 

You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. 

 

My heart still aches in sadness, and secret tears still flow.

 

What it means to lose you, no one will ever know.

Here are the funeral details:

Prayers:

Thursday May 15th, 2014  7:00 pm
Pierson's Funeral Home - Forest Lawn Chapel
 Phone: 403-235-3602
4121 - 17 Avenue S.E., Calgary, Alberta T2A 0T1

Funeral:

Friday May 16th, 2014 11:00 am
Holy Trinity Parish
1525-45th Street SE
Calgary, Alberta T2A 1N3 Canada
(403) 272-1258

Reception:

Friday May 16th, 2014  1:00 pm

EXECUTIVE ROYAL INN HOTEL
2828 - 23 Street NE
Calgary, AB T2E 8T4
Toll Free: 1-877-769-2562
Other Enquiries: (403) 291-2003

For anyone traveling from out of town The Executive Royal Inn Hotel has blocked rooms for us.  You can call the above numbers to reserve a room.  Availability of rooms starts on Thursday May 15, 2014

Our family is deeply saddened to inform you that Randy passed away on Saturday evening, ( May 10, 2014).  This ends his battle with cancer that started July 2013.  He was surrounded by the love of family and friends his final days. 



Funeral announcement to come.

Eternal rest grant unto Randy, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon him.
May the souls of the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Amen.

Quite a bit has happened since Monday.  When I went back on Tuesday morning Randy had taken a turn for the worse.  He had tried to do things by himself overnight and missed the edge of the bed and fell down.  Bruised his right side ribs and leg but otherwise ok.  He also was having trouble keeping anything down.  If he drank any water or when they gave him his meds through the tube he would throw up - so his pain spiked up because he was not getting his pain relief.  There was also blood coming up, which means there is some internal bleeding - most likely from the tumor.  They also decided to move Randy to a private room so that he could have a better space, more quiet, bigger area for family.  Moved him around 2 pm.  So much better.
I spent Tuesday night at the hospital with Randy.  He was able to finally get  some sleep.  Also giving him his pain relief meds through the sub q line helped him get the pain under control. They suspended giving him his Tinzaparin to see if it would slow down the bleeding.  It's a balancing act....blood clot prevention or slowing down the bleeding.  By end of day Wednesday there was little to no blood in his throw up. 

Randy and I  have made a heartbreaking and difficult decision to move him to a hospice rather than being able to coming home.   It would have been nice to have him at home but he is at the point where I would become fulltime caregiver and would lose the chance to be with him and not worry about everything.  He will have 24 hour care and that allows me, the boys and rest of family/friends to spend time with him as a wife/son/brother/mother/sister/friend without having to worry about the "care" side of things.  Gave them our top three choices so will have to wait and see where a bed becomes available.  He will be moved with in a day or two. 

Please pray that Randy's final journey is speedy and pain free as possible.  It's so very hard to let go but he is so tired and has had enough of this suffering.  He deserves to be free.  Has suffered enough. I came across this poem below.  I think it says it all:

It's Ok To Go

© Lori Daoust

                     

You were sick and tired and we all knew,
that God would soon come to take you.
You fought so hard, so very long,
but through the pain, you stayed strong.

We all knew there would come a day,
when God would come to carry you away.
It doesn’t make it easier to say goodbye,
and I try so hard not to cry.

I can’t help but feel defeated,
or even maybe a little cheated.
But how very selfish would I be,
to hope and pray you could stay with me.

So as you laid there tubes running to and fro,
I had to tell you "It's ok to go".
Say "Hi" to loved ones waiting on the other side.
I know some day; you'll be there when I take that ride.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/its-ok-to-go#ixzz318OqmsUx
Family Friend Poems

Today Randy was still very worn out.  Spent the day sleeping.  The doctor came and talked with us and are hoping to send him home tomorrow (Tuesday) fingers crossed.  His pain is still greatly diminished which is awesome, so the plexus block worked.  We were told it can last for up to 6 months for pain relief.  The dietitian was going to recommend some fiber be added to his formula for the tube feeds to try and add bulk. 

The physiotherapist came to see how Randy is set up at home and we are going to get a walker for him to use as support when he needs to walk.  I'll have to pick it up tomorrow.

We got a hospital bed set up for him at home so he can be more comfortable.  Had to re-arrange the furniture but it fits.  Nice and cozy for him. Don't want to go down to the basement as that's were all the extra furniture went.   New sheets all washed up,  new comforter....can't wait to bring him home!!

.

Have had a busy couple days for Randy.  He is still in the hospital.  Here is a time line of what has happened.

Tuesday was the pain clinic appointment and admission to hospital.
Wednesday they really didn't do much.  Just increased his morphine by 5 mg and hydrate him.  Ate 2 cans of food.

Thursday they did blood tests and an X ray.  Worked on helping clear out the plumbing. Continued to use morphine and hydrate him. Later in the day decided to switch over to Hydromorphone,  this is a synthetic morphine.   Also he has a subcutaneous IV line with a button on it to give himself a small shot of pain relief every 1/2 hour if needed.   Ate 2 cans of food.

Friday was a busy day.  They decided to do the Coeliac Plexus block to help with the pain originating from his liver pushing on a nerve.  This is done with CT guidance.  They did a mistake down in the CT Scan area and pushed some of the dye into his sub q line instead of his actual IV line.  It did cause a burning pain in his arm and some swelling at the site of the injection.  After the procedure Randy's pain level went down to 1 !!!!  First time in so long that the pain is not causing him grief.  They did find that his hemoglobin was quite low so he had 2 units of blood.  He did not sleep much Friday night.
Saturday Randy was completely worn out.  I got to hospital around noon and he slept all day.  His pain is still at 1.  Just needs to recoup from the busy week and let the new blood work.  The swelling in his arm has moved to his elbow and forearm,  there is no pain which is good.  Did not have to use the button for extra pain relief at all today as he didn't need it.  Amen, Alleluia

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” — Ben Okri

It's been a couple days now that Randy has been in hospital.  First night was not very pleasant.  He felt like they did not realized he was there.  Did not sleep and did not get much help with the pain level.  Breaks my heart to hear this.  Randy was not in a good position to realize all he had to do was push the nurse call button.  I think is was the way he was admitted....which was not very organized.  usually when you get admitted you get a wrist band and then you are entered into the system. He did not get it until 11:30 the first night. Night nurse must not have been very good..:(   did not check in on him enough.  Probably thought he's not complaining so leave him be..... If I would have known how awful it was going to be I would have stayed with him all night to be there and speak for him.

We informed the doctor next morning all she can say is sorry.....hospital is not a good place to be.....don't know what happened.....I entered all the medication requirements....

Anyway enough complaining.  What's done is done.  Going forward it has been much better service.  Our day nurse, June, is very nice.  He is attentive, caring and very helpful with Randy.  The second night was better.  We again had a new nurse and he was just as helpful and nice as June.  Randy slept most of the night.

There was X-ray done on Wednesday and it was found out Randy was quite a bit blocked up in his colon.  So the first step is to clear the pipes.  His morphine has been increased by 5 mg to see if that will help.  So far there has not been much improvement.  Just makes Randy very dopey and he sleeps all day. 

Praying they can find a solution to ease his pain.  Still runs between 5 - 8 out of 10.  Randy hopes they can get it down to 3.